The Skorva Midbeam Scam: And What My IKEA Bed Taught Me About Life

When I moved apartments, my box spring would not fit up the stairs. Because I am stubborn and moderately stingy, I couldn’t bring myself to buy a new bed. I slept on the floor for three months. I drank an occasional beer in ‘bed’, I slept with a pile of clean clothes that I had no reason to hang up, and a number of Apple devices which would alarm madly whenever someone wrote on my Facebook wall. This was all okay because my bed was the floor, and the floor has always been home to many things. I had regressed from 26-year-old woman to 19-year-old boy in a matter of weeks.

Then, the company I worked for was bought out. I found out my new job would eventually entail me working from my apartment – or “home office” as it was politely described to me. It was time to grow up. And when you are forced into a domestically adult situation before you are ready for it, there is really only one place to go. That place is IKEA.

Lesson 1:

Never go to IKEA with a mild hangover.

Not really a life lesson, just a thought. An addendum to that would be: Never go to IKEA with a mild hangover with your mother who is really into interior decorating.

Pregnant women, yelling at their spouses for picking the wrong color SVJEKA HARMESIKASHASHA… Couples, hands intertwined in a death grip, blocking your path… The open-faced prawn sandwich in the cafeteria… These things would make you want to vomit on a good day.

Lesson 2:

Scams come in inexpensive packages.

People trust IKEA because their furniture is cheap, looks decent, and you put it together yourself. You feel empowered in all sorts of grown-up ways.

ENTER THE SKORVA MIDBEAM SCAM:

For a number of bed frames, you need this magical $10 piece in which to balance your box spring/bed slats. While this is mentioned upstairs in the showroom, it is not however, posted below in the warehouse. Only two items on the shelf are listed as needed to be picked up, you forget all about what you saw upstairs. You proceed home. You build your entire bed, impressed with yourself. You reach step 29. The bubble man in the instructions calls for a long, metallic object which you’ve never seen before in your life.

IKEA does not sell this piece online, so you must sleep in your glorified litter box until you can arrange a date to drive back to the store, pick up the piece, buy more crap you do not need, eat more Swedish meatballs, and generally be miserable with life.

See also, “SKORVA: Swëdish for “Go back to the store

Lesson 3:

Talents are not necessarily hereditary.

My entire family is in the construction business. My mother drives a backhoe better than most women drive a car. My younger sister received a tool belt for her 5th birthday. People in my family seem to be innately skilled at putting things together and taking them apart. Which is why I thought I’d be fine to construct the rest of my bed alone.

The directions called for pieces that were unrecognizable to me. The slats did not slat. THE SLATS DID NOT SLAT. I got so frustrated that I just sat and stared at the nuts and bolts in my hand and thought about the purpose of washers for half an hour. And then I got up and Googled “the purpose of washers”, wasting another ten minutes before I…

Lesson 4:

Self-deception is the most effective form of self-comfort.

…threw my mattress on top of the poorly constructed bed. I heard several cracks. 25% of the slats had fallen off the frame, one appeared to have snapped. But I had laundered my sheets for this event — the bed was coming together, even at the risk of my health. Not being a particularly heavy person, I figured all would be fine.

And when duvet and throw pillows had been applied, it looked like the bed of a girl who owns a day-planner and gets her car inspected two weeks before the sticker expires.

But what lied beneath told a different story.

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72 thoughts on “The Skorva Midbeam Scam: And What My IKEA Bed Taught Me About Life

  1. Michelle says:

    Love this blog! Keep it up!! 🙂

  2. Dj says:

    Hi! Came here by Googling “Skorva Midbeam” because we had the exact same thing happen to us. The problem is, this will be the 3rd time we’re going back (3 hour drive) to finish this stupid bed.

    I was very frustrated to say the least. Thanks for making me laugh and feel a little better.

  3. Mary says:

    You had my boyfriend and I in tears of laughter at 1am last night (thanks to Ikea’s complete lack of adherence to requested delivery windows) when we were assembling our bed and realized that the “required” midbeam was idiotically not included! Thanks for the much needed laughter. (Hopefully, tonight will be our last in our “glorified litter box.”)

  4. Steve says:

    I like the blog, if anyone else has some questions on IKEA beds check out my instructional: http://www.squidoo.com/local-city-and-town-nicknames-and-map-apparel

  5. Jennica says:

    Cracked me up. Thank you for some Ikea comic relief. i did go there with a mild hangover and hated everything about it. Now I see I’m not the only one.

  6. katiclops says:

    bah! story of our apartment!
    it’s a bookshelf, there’s one tool and no instructions…how hard could it be?

  7. Brian lamb says:

    Almost entirely our story except we purchased the Brimnes. Unfortunately (and I told the girlfriend “maybe we should ask” about the slats because I had a strange feeling, and she told me “don’t be stupid, of course they are in there Why would they sell us a bed with no slats”) we did not by slats. We bought box 1, 2, and 3 as instructed. Ironically after putting together, head board. (sold separately and was purchased as box 1 and box 2), with out a hitch I felt pretty cocky and manly about my achievement. Then she shows me the throw pillows and dust ruffle she bought and I was back to square one on the manly front… Not relevant to the issue at hand, but… On to box 1,2, & 3 of the $249 bed we purchased after driving 3.5 hours 1 way to Chicago. We are moving at a good clip. Cocky-ness coming back. Manhood… Check. Step 27 Done!!! Hey baby we are almost done and can finally shower, sex, and sleep in bed!!!!! Step 28 DONE!!!! (Internal monologue… few more steps and I’m gonna get some… la la la) Step 29… WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT THING????
    Honey, did you double check the boxes to make sure there wasn’t anything left?
    Nope
    Damnit… Out to the dumpster I go… Nothing Luckily said dumpster was not disgusting and my boxes were on top.
    Call IKEA and say “hey I think I am missing a part, and I am curious how this I magical missing piece is going to make this bed defy the laws of physics.”

    I see this situation as a fulcrum. With the proper sleeping arrangement my 115 pound girlfriend sleeping at the far end of the bed, could in theory counter balance my 220 pounds, if I slept .02357 inches away from the center of the bed.
    But that is dangerous, as I have explicit instructions from said girlfriend to not violate her side of the bed.

    Sorry unimportant side track.
    Speaking to IKEA they explain I need the magical, mythical, mid beam. And it is ONLY 10 DOLLARS!!!! Great only ten dollars no big deal. I don’t even have to go to the ATM machine. Oh and slats…60, 120, 150 I can pick.
    Huh????? I bought a bed… I am not asking for a mattress, bed spring, bedding or a dust ruffle. As I am typing this the girl is getting in the shower and we are debating on our course of action. Drive 7 hours round trip to Chicago and that’s about 60 bucks in gas, have it shipped (which will take 2 weeks) Shipping costs??? oh no they couldn’t tell me that until I completed the order. I am leaning towards a 350 dollar bonfire.

    Regardless I think sex is not an option as we have no bed.

    I plan on passing your story around, this situation is ridiculous! Lessons in Ikea… should have found this much sooner!

  8. Noah says:

    Awesome! I’m having exactly the same nightmare.

  9. Ken Pfeiffer says:

    What a hilarious thread! I actually knew about the Skorva midbeam and have in my possession a coupon to purchase one at a $5 discount (yes- a Skorva Midbeam for only $5.00) at the Centennial, Colorado store between 1/8/13 and 1/13/13 because they were out of them when we purchased our bed and mattress there yesterday. (I only live 45 minutes from there unike many of you other long-distance Ikea shoppers). This means I can enjoy an extra serving of those tasty (they remain with me for hours) Swedish Meatballs they serve in their atmospheric cafeteria for free!

  10. Dave from Washington says:

    Totally hilarious- thanks! (But we’re still POed at IKEA)
    Definitely see http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-buy-an-ikea-bed#module161085133
    Everything Pam there said… long drive… talked to the floor rep (why we knew we needed the slats)… long drive back…SURPRISE! no midbeam… frustrating experience with an unhelpful customer service (essentially, “Sorry- sucks to be you”). That last bit was the most disappointing. But disappointed moved into the angry zone when the Seattle store manager we then talked to was not only unhelpful, but wide open rude to my wife. At least the bed was for us and we weren’t disappointing someone else as well. (Pam was buying it for her daughter). I like Pam’s idea of having the checkout flag the checker to ask if the customer is aware that a midbeam is required. The current situation tells me that IKEA is: 1) criminally oblivious (seems unlikely considering these complaints go back to at least 2009 and the poll results on the squidoo site above show that as of May 2013 only 14% got all the parts needed on the first try and just ever 50% didn’t get the midbeam), OR 2) IKEA is just flat out mean, OR 3) They’re terminally stupid, OR 4) They’re stark raving insane. (Like, “Insanity is repeating the same mistake and expecting different results”). How would the Seattle store manager feel if he bought a TV, got it home and then found out the power cord was “a separate item” and he had to drive 8 hours to get one so he could use his TV. I could be totally wrong on this, but it seems to me that anything that is absolutely required to make a purchase usable should be included in the first place. (No… wait…. I don’t think I could be totally wrong).
    IKEA- Include essential parts or flag it at the checkout. If someone is purchasing a bed, prompt the checker to see if the customer is aware that slats and a midbeam may be required. Or have that information CLEARLY AND EMPHATICALLY posted on the bed packaging- or at least at the bin. Or how hard would it be to include the midbeam- sounds like that is required whether you use slats or a foundation/boxspring. All I can say is that IKEA lost our good will in a big way over a $10 part. Does that make any business sense in the age of social media?

  11. Lauren in WW says:

    After driving over 200 miles each way from Eastern WA to Portland to pick up our HEMNES bed from IKEA, got it home, assembled it about 80% only to realize we didn’t have the elusive SKORVA midbeam. After calling useless customer service, who said it would take 7-14 days to arrive, I called my (retired) parents in CA to beg them to purchase the part for me at their local store and send it UPS so that it arrived in time for our houseguests. Cut to the day before it’s scheduled to arrive, and I check the UPS tracking number expecting it to be somewhere in central Oregon, and….wait for it…there’s an exception–train derailment in CA. TRAIN EFFING DERAILMENT! It’s now been 48 hours since this incident, and my package is no where to be found. But, I’ve been assured by UPS that once it’s located and they can determine that it has/hasn’t been damaged, that it will continue on its original rate of transit. Which means, probably a week from never. FML.

  12. Raquel Ritz says:

    Haha, this is great. We are actually buying the bed to have it delivered to our moving company because we are relocating in a different country. I could not find the bloody skorva midbean so I googled it. And that is how I ended up here. Luckily, I asked one employee to give us the reference numbers, so he included that bit. So I am really happy we are not buying a bloody bed that I can’t actually use in my country.
    Great post!

  13. DjZoNe says:

    Hey, I’ve just ran into this SKORVA shit… It’s awesome. After 4 hours of fighting with the manual I’ve reached step 27, and I absolutely had no idea about this crap… Good night on the floor…

  14. Terry says:

    skorva victims unite – I am the male version of you – but you are also my hero for posting this. #ikea Put it in the F…ing thing in the box and charge 10 more dollars, seriously

  15. Avinash says:

    So, I am fixing my Brimnes bed from Ikea last night, and everything is fine until Step 29 when the instructions show a strange midbeam. Googled it and found your blog post. Looks like we should start a fan club of people with Skorva midbeam issues. Now, I have a two hour drive to the Ikea store to look forward to.

  16. jaleesarenee says:

    we are currently dealing with this issue right now. this post is breath of fresh air in a dark ikea warehouse of lost dreams.

  17. Morrisf says:

    Great post, especially lesson 2. I am somehow relieved not to be the only one who felt slightly annoyed at missing a metal beam…it was nearly midnight last night when we realised the same step 29 for Brimnes and I wasn’t amused!
    Going back tonight by subway, as I returned my rental van this morning.
    And I agree with Terry, just put it in the box!!!

  18. Jan says:

    Thanks for the post. Last night l felt very angry about the “SKORVA” which in czech language is very similar to some nasty word – may be its not a coincidence. The transport servis to our home costs 10 times more than this SKORVA (we have very small car…).
    Thanks for feeling better.

  19. maymay says:

    Yes. Very relevant post. I had the worst day today, and on top of that I cant even sleep in my bed. My entire body is aching because I put that entire bed frame together by myself and I have the flu.

    And I’m missing one piece.

    My body is confused, my fever is making me feel cold but I’m burning up and pretty upset that I did all of this work for me not to sleep in my bed tonight. I kept telling myself, “just keep going, and think about how great it will feel to pass out in this bed tonight.”

    Well, right now I just choked down some nasty cherry flavored Nyquil to try and fight off my cough and now I’m about to pass out on the couch again for another night.

    The worst part is, I asked the lady at IKEA how long does she think it takes to put the frame together, and she said “oh about an hour and fifteen…” how bout no….try 17 hours.

  20. Dave says:

    lovely post. My story is slightly different as I haven’t got the bed yet. The UK catalogue & web site both mention the need for a Skorva midbeam, included in the purchase price but not part of the bed. What I had no idea of was what a Skorva midbeam is, hence a google search leading me here. I am now wiser. Fortunately Ikea is about 15 minutes away but hopefully I can do it in one trip.(Must check if slats are included.)

  21. J. Baeza says:

    THE SKORVA MIDBEAM!!!!!! Hows this to start off your 3rd week of marriage. Newly weds drive 3 hrs to IKEA…Arrive…find newly priced BRIMNES Bed with drawers!!!! Yay…head to warehouse….Box 1, 2. 3…Check out clearance sections (SUCKS)… pack everything ever so tightly in the CRV…Box 1 is so long that it takes up driver seat. So one of us has to sit in the back seat for 3 hrs. Phew…we get home…unload boxes 1,2,3…crap we are freaking tired…but tonight newly wed lovin in the BRIMNES bed with enough storage for all of our clothes. (ENTER SCREECHING HALT NOISE!!!!) SKORVA FREAKIN MIDBEAM!!!! Hmmmm what to do next since we will be sleeping on the floor??? Oh check IKEA Online see if they will ship???? NEGATIVE….oh ebay….NEGATIVE…. OH craiglist???? NEGATIVE….oh drink the freaking bottle of wine together and sleep on the floor till next weekend when you can take another 6 hr roundtrip to IKEA, get the 10$ SKORVA and maybe have all the pieces needed to sleep in our BRIMNES IKEA BED….and…google SKORVA MIDBEAM and find this blog…. and laugh at ourselves (in the 86 percentile) and wish we would have bought a bed at Sears…(if this was a sitcom we would cut to a scene of a sole SKORVA MIDBEAM at the IKEA warehouse…play sitcom music. bum pom pom).

  22. SG says:

    WOW, nothing better explains what happened to me… THE SKORVA MIDBEAM SCAM !!!
    Screw them they all know about this… now i have to go back there again. The delivery guy was like, sir, i believe you will need a mid beam… then I say shit, i saw it upstair and forgot to grab it in the warehouse. They designed the checkout process so u forget everything.

  23. Jet King says:

    I have never laughed so hard in my life while reading a blog. I pictured every moment.

  24. THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG!!!! It literally brought me out of my TERRIBLE FUCKING MISERABLE ASS MOOD 5 hours before I need to get up for work…I got home late from work but was SUPER EXCITED to finish building this damn Hemnes bed and lo and behold get to step 27 and BAM! MIDBEAM! So…I spend the next 20 minutes searching my new apartment thinking that maybe my boyfriend mistakenly put it with the boxes for the Hemnes dresser that need to be thrown out only to come up with nothing…so, of course the next stop is google, and while what I really was googling was “Is it ok to sleep on an ikea bed without the mid beam?”, I’m glad this came up. Sad thing is this will be the 3rd time going to Ikea for this bed since the first time we got him and the entire headboard was CRACKED…had to go back to get a new piece because they don’t deliver any separate pieces that big (makes sense?!?)…we complained about the zip car money it cost us to get there and they could only give us a $25 gift card (after we pushed back against the “free meal” at their cafeteria…)…I FUCKING HATE IKEA!!!!!!!!!! HOW IS THIS NOT INCLUDED IN THE BOXES???!!! It truly is a fucking scam.

  25. Jean Baxter says:

    I’ve just moved interstate. I decided to keep my Ikea bed instead of buying a new one as I found a cheap removal guy. When you think about all the costs associated with Ikea products is it still cheap though? And when the cheap removal guy delivers your bed to your new abode but KEEPS the ‘Skorva’ aka midbeam and you now have a six hour return trip to Ikea ahead of you to buy a new Skorva $20.. is it still considered cheap? Have you done yourself a favour in the long run? Exactly where is the saving here? Thanks for this blog! I found it when looking at my options and it too made me see the funny side of sleeping in a glorified litter box tonight.

  26. I never had this problem after 4 beds. Must be my Finnish blood. Sorry for your problems.

  27. Eric Bond says:

    Nailed it!! I’ve seriously been searching for said midbeam for a few weeks now. I realize now that it’s inevitable that I must go to IKEA and pick the damn thing up.

  28. wonk1 says:

    My wife bought my oldest son one of these beds at Ikea which is 3 hours away. My son and I spent 15 minutes going over the packing list in the assembly manual to be sure that we had everything that we needed. After assuring myself that we had all of the pieces in sufficient quantities we proceeded to assemble his new bed. On step 30 we are instructed to insert the mythical Skorva midbeam. What the heck? That wasn’t on the list of parts. So after a quick Google here I am. Now I’m thinking that I’m going to buy a crate of these things and sell them on eBay complete with express shipping so people can get off the couch!

    • I think you’re on to something with the eBay idea!

      • Wonk'sWife says:

        I wanted to leave an update on our experience with the lovely Skorva Midbeam issue. I’m Wonk1’s wife. I was not willing to accept defeat in this and so I started by calling the main IKEA Customer service number. Not very helpful – the first person I spoke with said, “that’s too bad – you’ll just have to drive back to the store to get the part. It’s only $10.00.” I explained to this person that the nearest store is over 3 hours away, and that it would cost me close to $100 to get this $10 part (factor in gas and tolls, and the entire day trip). He said that’s too bad, but that he couldn’t do anything for me, at which point I asked to be transferred to his supervisor. After several more conversations like the one above, I was finally transferred to what I thought was the actual store that I purchased the bed from and spoke with the on-duty manager. His solution was to offer me half off the part and to ship it out to me at no cost to me. Unfortunately, in working out the logistics of this, it was discovered that I was speaking to the wrong store. The manager gave me the direct numbers to the store that I did purchase it from. I left a message and assumed that I would never hear from them again. The next evening, I got a call from the Customer Service department. When I explained the situation (again) as well as my frustration with the customer service so far, she immediately apologized for the inconvenience and said she would ship the part out to me first thing on Monday, for delivery on either Tues or Wed. I gave my address, and waited with cc card in hand to pay for the part, only to be told that the part would be shipped for free and that they hope I will continue to be a customer of their store.

        The moral is to call and continue to transfer (if needed) until you get the resolution you are willing to accept. I was more than willing to pay for the part, just not willing to pay for shipping or to drive 3+ hours to the store again. And whenever possible, try to speak with the customer service for the actual physical location that you purchased the part from.

        I will shop at that IKEA location again – because she did what was necessary to turn an unhappy customer into a satisfied repeat one.

  29. missmae522 says:

    I was dying reading this! It’s my life right now, I have to go back and get the stupid beam. I read the rest of this blog and it’s hilarious, keep it up, you have me lookin like a total weirdo, laughing at work by myself! 🙂

  30. DJ Wagganer says:

    Wow! Holy Hell!! The same exact thing happened to me and my wife! We decided to purchase the MALM queen size black “slat bed”. We were told its a 3 box purchase. We found the boxes, Loaded them into our car and drove 2 hours back to Naples FL. Guess what happened next….. Oh yea,! The efn SKORVA mid beam was missing!!!!!! What the hell!? Needles to say we too need to make another two hour trip up and back to get this apparently magical missing piece to the frustrating puzzle. It says it’s included the price. Hope we don’t have to pay any more.

  31. Ingrid says:

    Thank you for the post, it was fun to read.

    I’m not sure how IKEA works in the rest of the globe, but here in the European webpage it says:

    “Good to know
    Slatted bed base is included in the price but picked up separately.
    SKORVA midbeam is needed for this product. It is included in the price but picked up separately.”

    So I was wondering what was the craic and if it was also included in the shipping after being picked up separately. I haven’t bought mine yet, I was doing a research first and I found this blog really useful. Thank you for the blog and the comments!

  32. Christine says:

    I have to say that my boyfriend and I bought the Brusali queen size bed with the under storage. We actually grabbed a piece of paper that listed that we needed the mid beam. We were able to grab the mid beam BUT didn’t realize until we made the 3+ hour drive home that it’s suppose to be two pieces, and not one which is the one we came home with.

    Our issue currently is that we did not purchase slats. We have to return the mid beam to get the correct one but I think we are just going to buy strong pieces of wood to place under the mattress.

  33. John O'Connell says:

    IKEA are total SCUM- this issue has been going on for years and they have not resolved it- I have had the same issue again- the part is shown in the required steps, it is not advised on the website to buy this part, in fact they specify that the part is included in the price, I have a bed shipped, waited 2 weeks for it to arrive as I have travelled internationally and then their online website ANNA took 10 days to reply to me only to say that I have to go buy this part- I have no car; I really want to sue the company at this point-= otherwise think we should start a campaign to destroy the public perception of Ikea- they are like the anti-google (Googles motto of do not evil could be changed for Ikea to be pure evil incarnate)

  34. Amber says:

    Add me to the list of screwed customers! On the website, it lists three boxes. At the store, it only listed two boxes. Whatever, fine, I buy the two boxes AND I remember to buy the slats. Yay me! Gosh darn it if the mythical missing midbeam was not included.

    Fortunately it is only 30 minutes to IKEA, but HONESTY! How hard is it to include the stupid beam in the box!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. Mindy says:

    This is a great blog. My question is, I bought the midbeam, but did not buy the slatts. Is it needed?

  36. Rose says:

    Just about to put up my Nyvoll bed and realized that I am missing the SKORVA midbeam and the SULTAN LUROY (slats). So happy I read your blog before assemblying. Now, all I have to do is go back to IKEA and pick up the 2 boxes that was not included as a part of the set. Thank you

  37. Rose says:

    PS…the midbeam is now $20.00 not $10.00:-)

  38. Stacey says:

    IKEA just lost all of my business and any friends/family who will listen to me… over $10 !!!

    Customer service lady seriously said to me “Yeah, a lot of people forget that.”

    Thanks for your understanding lady, it will comfort me while I sleep on my hardwood floors tonight.

  39. warren says:

    Sept 7 2014 I just found out the same thing. Store is now closed. Ikea always requires 2 or 3 trips for big items. So frustrating.

  40. Patty says:

    GTS’d (Google That Sh*t) the midbeam piece after I got to the last step and realized I didn’t have the midbeam, and found ur post. Yes, I had to go back this morning…. ur post and the comments say it all, but just wanted to add my thoughts! There should be a freaking sign at checkout that says “Buy A Bed… Did You Get Your Midbeam?” Ridiculous!!!!

  41. Aspasia says:

    We bought the beam but didn’t realize the bed came in multiple boxes- no sign by the bin in the self serve area.

  42. Teapot says:

    Hi,

    Does anyone have the instruction for IKEA Skorva bed???
    I need it can’t find it anywhere 😦 HELP?

  43. Yaya says:

    There are always supply lists next to the displays. The mid beam and slats are clearly listed. I just purchased and assembled a Hemnes bed, no missing parts, no problems.

  44. revlulu says:

    In a very ironic way, I am so happy to read this! I thought I was the only one freaking out over having to drive back to get this stupid piece~
    I guess misery really does love company!! 🙂 I am going to take Wonk Wife’s advice and keep calling….
    Or drive to Charlotte… one or the other!

  45. peter says:

    Congratulations. Your article appeared in my Google Now cards (android) after searching for a way to keep the slats from slipping off the outer metal ledge of my Ikea midbeam bed. Incidentally the purchase of said bed was necessitated by the fact that my box spring would not fit up the stairs, like you.
    My slat problem, it seems emerged when, after 5 years, the plastic spacer strips that connect the slats rotted causing the slats to shift around. The Swedish are not good with plastics, a fact that becomes apparent if you own an old Volvo. Different story.
    I don’t remember having a problem purchasing or assembling the bed. The issue of how to suspend a big wide mattress into the bed frame, thereby lifting it off the floor, seems to solve itself once one notices the general construction features of the bed. For me it was like ‘I get it. Instead of a wide, rigid box spring, the mattress sits on these slats which are curiously less wide than the mattress by, well, about half. That means that the slats are going to need to be supported by some sort of beam that runs somewhere around midway along the length of the bed.’ Once I woke up from my haze, I noticed that this was all diagrammed and demonstrated clearly in the store display, along with the (seperate) location of the midbeam. This was further made clear when I picked the (curiously un-wide) slats, and the bed frame, noting the flat pack couldn’t conceivability contain a metal beam of such dimension. I’m not sure if genealogy, inherent construction skill or what that caused me to remember to pick the Skorva Midbeam from the bin and lay it on the cart. Maybe I’m just lucky.

  46. Angela says:

    I’m dying of laughter…I know it’s years later but you are hysterical , you have a way with words….the commenters too. I naught the malm bed centuries ago. I’m a minimalist knd of a person and I believe the skorva midbeam was included. So 5 years ago I moved and stored my bed (moved in with boyfriend)…he dies and I just don’t care about anything so I couch surf for a while and the homes I lived in after that all had beds, still didn’t need mine. Finally I move into my own place, 400 miles away & I can’t find the skorva midbeam. Somewhere along the line, I lost it and wonder if one of you haven’t swiped it. I no longer live 7 miles from an ikea. Sigh….and so here I find this marvelous blog.

  47. sara says:

    so i have the midbeam but not slats are the slats necessary for the hemnes bed or just extra? thank you

  48. Jen says:

    I was totally searching for something else, but I had to stop and read this, since I assembled my first ikea bed and slats yesterday. I recall that the midbeam requirement was clearly marked on the parts list to pull from the aisles downstairs. Also looking online, it says this “Good to know: Must be completed with SKORVA midbeam.” I agree though; any bed should flag at the register to note that the midbeam is necessary. They should keep a pallet of them near the register. Better to have to get back in line than to have to drive hours to get it later.

    I recommend to spend an extra $30 to upgrade to the Lonset slat setup. The slats are secure and are not going to fall out.

    My assembly was not without incident. There was this moment…”oops, take it apart. that piece is backwards.” Curses. I guess I’m glad we weren’t missing any parts.

  49. Krystal says:

    Super funny I am laying in my glorified litter box now wondering if I need a bed base

  50. markrlarkin says:

    Wow! Just had a crazy similar experience. Your post is dead on and absolutely hilarious. At least I got a laugh out of this while situatuon!

    • Dex says:

      I just saw yr blog while googling ikea beds and found yr website , its horrible and waste of money , this is the last time Im gonna buy an ikea bed !

  51. GerGom says:

    It happened exactly the opposite to me!
    I bought the FJELLSE double bed and the lady at the counter told me not to forget the SKORVA beam. I got it for 16 EUR in Finland (Vantaa)… and I did not even use it! It does not make sense.

  52. Julianne says:

    Love your blog! Thought this article was a hoot

  53. C J says:

    You’re right, this is SUCH a scam.

    I just bought double bed slats online from IKEA because there isn’t one in my city. I paid 2/5th of the price of the bed slats for shipping, and when it finally arrived they were two separate pieces. I checked, double and triple checked, the online advertisement and not only is there NO indication that it’s two separate pieces, the photo makes it look like one piece, the product description lists them as being one piece (as opposed to a higher end version that clearly indicates that it’s two pieces), and it does not suggest the need for assembly or a midbeam. But, low behold, there’s the SKORVA midbeam, now $20. SO IRATE.

    • Hahaaaa!!! this skorva problem is going on for yeaaaars LOL. I read the blog and most of the comments 😀
      I was searching for the brusali bed frame because my bed makes a peeping sound everytime i get in. I was wondering if these two V’s are really necessary. But i purchased my bed online so this midbeam and everything else was automatically included fortunatelly 🙂

  54. Gtregd says:

    I don’t understand or maybe it’s just not implied that why would people need to sleep or have sex on there floor!! Why can’t they just sleep/sex on the mattress, or does is turn into some kind of monster if you don’t have it on a bed frame or something??!!

  55. Ryan Moss says:

    My slats would always slide off the metal ledge on my side of the bed, so after months of putting it off I finally bought some Velcro tape, cut them into squares, and stuck them where ever the slat meets the ledge. Voila! I’ve never had the problem again.

    I also had to return to the IKEA store to buy the midbeam, but fortunately I don’t live far and was able to go back the same day.

  56. Kim says:

    While I can’t say I was caught in the SKORVA Scam, I did experience the fact that they don’t even check with the consumer if they’ve purchased it. I was looking over my receipt after a full day splurge at IKEA, and at the very bottom it said “Did customer purchase mid-bar beam?” And they had to answer with “Yes” or “No.” My cashier clicked no, but never asked me if I had it. Which is a shame, because I did have it… it was just buried under my stacks of boxes. Whoops?

  57. Emmie says:

    Anyone purchased the bed and assembled it with a wooden beam prior ? How do I assemble the Skorva midbeam now ? Help!?

  58. Stryker says:

    Loved my Malm when I first bought it, but I never used slats. Used plywood and 4X4 lumber to hold up the mattress. Worked better than slats. College desperation is an amazing thing. I just moved and lost the hardware and the wood so into the recycling the bed goes.

  59. andrew says:

    Hi. Great Blog. Today we learn lesson 3. First we search full 45 minutes this great loot. Then we decide to drive back to the ikea store. (Round trip ~40km). SKORVA, or this peace of shit is responsible for a senseless quantity of co² i think. Sorry for my bad english.

  60. Russell Martilla says:

    Yeah now I got an overly ridiculously engineered slat system that took 2 hours to put together. The Lonset. But no where in Ikea did it say we needed this for the bed we bought from them. The Tyssedal. I am so disgusted with this BS setup. I should have just gotten a 5/8 sheet of plywood wood and cut it to size and used that. I can see so many ways this could have been designed better. Do these people even put their own furniture together?

  61. ashelia says:

    This happened to me just now. Your blog is long dead and gone, but I needed to share my story. Ikea shipped every part of my new bed but the beam. That $10 beam. Step 28 I’m informed by the guy building my bed that no, we don’t have a beam. And when I called them, they asked me if I had a comfy couch at least and didn’t even say sorry until I pointed out that the fine print said online orders get the beam for free so it was their error. So now I have no bed. I have to sleep on the kitchen floor because my studio is too small until they can ship me a new one because the nearest Ikea is 100 miles away. I hate you Ikea. I really, really hate you.

  62. Seriously guys, I know it’s old but I must comment…. We buy this bed in 2015, put it together without slats because we have a boxspring. There’s no midbeam, but we think it’s okay because of the boxspring. We did fall in a bit, and I believe we could have avoided that if we had the beam…
    Fast forward to summer 2017, and I move out with the bed. I order slats because I no longer need a boxspring….I get the slats and realize, wtf are they supposed to rest on? The freggin beam we never got. ugh! I read the website and it says the beam was supposed to be included with the bed….so where is it? Now I have to wait for a bar we should have had a year ago. ugh. At least the bed made it through a move.

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